Reward the work

Society so applauds competition that it creates competitive concepts within itself.  It makes additive behavior seem and feel like a reward and makes rewards look like self-indulgent behavior.  It makes self-sacrifice and hard work for others seem virtuous even, or specifically, when it is damaging to you and makes it feel like doing anything for the self hurts others.…

Taking that first step

Have you ever wanted something but felt overwhelmed by how much work it would take to get it?  Has it felt impossible to get from there to here?  That’s common.  We are, after all, only one person living in one moment at a time and most things that we want require a lot of moments and interacting with other people. …

Big Dreaming

So if you were to dream big, what would that look like?  Would it be a new to you car?  A new car?  Would it be that new dress you have wanted for a while even through you have nowhere to wear it? …

Dream Big

We tend to talk and think in extremes.  Either we look at things as impossible and so limit the scope of whatever we might choose to make it ‘manageable’ and ‘see if anything comes of it’ or we know its impossible and so we think of the biggest, over the top variation of what we want (billions of dollars, mansions on floating islands in the sky) and limit ourselves that way by making what we want an absurdity.…

Trust issues

Everyone has trust issues.  We are taught from a very young age not to trust ourselves.  Parenting has become about scheduling, activities, ‘getting it right’ so that futures are bright, and having all the right things.  So many times I’ve seen babies so immersed in toys and objects that they cry just from the over stimulation and their inability to move in their environment. …

You know what makes you happy

It’s not the addictive substances or activities we use to medicate the pain away.  It’s the things that we’ve been taught don’t matter – sitting in the sunlight, crafting for no other purpose than just because you feel like it, going for a walk somewhere you’ve never been. …

What are addictions?

Addictions are medicine.  Something inside us feels bad.  Rarely is this physical.  Addictions actually hurt the body and cause it to react negatively.  Addictions are medicine for emotions, fear, sadness, loneliness, despair, anxiety, and hopelessness to name a few.  Using the addictive substance or activity alleviates those feelings momentarily. …

Addictions are usually just the symptom

Addictions, to food/sex/drugs/TV/alcohol/gambling, are usually just a symptom of something more.  They are an escape or a way to try and stop whatever feeling is going on inside your body and your heart.  Whether they are a way to deal with depression, feeling like a victim, feeling lost, or lonliness, they are a way that you are attempting to feel better. …

What to do with addictions

Addictions are a difficult subject because the knee jerk reaction is to say, well just stop doing *addiction* and everything will be resolved. But if it were that simple then they wouldn’t be addictions, would they. They would just be habits or quirks of character that no one would worry about much and would go away eventually.…

It’s hard to ask for help

It’s hard to ask for help. We’d rather do things ourselves because it’s easier, even if it isn’t better. Asking for help opens us up for criticism. It opens us up to “why?”, to other’s opinions. And when you need help you can feel vulnerable and the last thing you want to do is defend yourself from opinions or ‘why’ questions.…