At some point anyone who is seeking their spiritual path will meet at least one of these scenarios:

  • The person who has THE newest or newly discovered/created spiritual practice that cures cancer, removes your karma, is the shortest path to peace and will remove war from the human experience if just everyone would do it.
  • The helpful advisor/friend/acquaintance that just KNOWS the next step for you on your path.
  • The peer/mentor/friend who is disappointed that you’ve chosen to do something other than what they have recommend.  Fortunately they are too wise to take it personally and patient enough to wait you out while REMINDING you on a regular schedule what you should be doing.
  • The peer/acquaintance/colleague who is fascinated with what you do and who you are and therefore would LOVE to work with you on this project because the two of you have so much that you can achieve together.

So here’s the deal.  Just because the person or activity or practice falls into the category of spiritual doesn’t mean that it is immune to the humanness of humans.  The Dalai Lama and Mother Teresa are standouts because they are the amazing (and still human) exceptions to the rule.  Just like doctors and lawyers are human with perspectives, issues, good and bad days, and specialties where they excel, so do people living spiritual lives.

Unfortunately, some people feel that being ‘spiritual’ means that they have a pass to live outside the normal boundaries of society.  And most don’t have a background in rules of conduct such as therapists, psychiatrists, doctors and pastors do.   So they don’t understand the responsibilities they have towards clients, peers, and colleagues.  They don’t have a regulated code of ethics to follow and many don’t follow the suggestion “Know thyself” or even “Healer Heal Thyself”.

So what happens is you get well meaning people who attempt to be ‘small little kings of small little hills’ and to create power and self-worth and self-esteem through using you in one way or another.  They may have no idea this is what they are doing. It’s a lesson they need to work through.  Or they may be very clear that’s what they are doing and it’s a life choice they’ve made.  In either case, it’s about boundaries and you are responsible for yours, your choices, and your life.

So spiritual or not, always enter into these kinds of interactions and conversations just as you would with anyone else.  No matter who they are or what spin they give it, if they are pitching you something, ignore the offer and look at the product.  If it’s not for you then no price is worth it.  Assume that they have an ulterior motive for offering it and act accordingly.  If they are trying to shame you into something, stop drop and roll.  No one has the right to shame you into anything and unless you give them permission, they are out of bounds even trying.  Your mother has first dibs on that anyway. 🙂  If something is new, is amazing, is going to change the world, then great.  But there have been literally millions of such things and only the smallest fraction have actually fulfilled the claim.  So look before you leap.  If it’s that great it will take off without you and you can get in on it when it’s right for you.  Or it will become the norm and so you’ll get involved anyway.

Bottom line, check everything spiritual and non-spiritual with common sense and your own knowing.  And if it seems off, it probably is.   Because underneath what is being said, there is another message and it’s just crossed a boundary.