You can’t talk yourself into being changed. You can talk yourself into a process that will change you, but talking won’t make you take the actions and it won’t keep you at them past when it’s new or exciting or fun. Talking won’t conquer the fears that you’re avoiding. Actually, talking is something people do to hide from others and themselves that they have fears at all.  Sometimes they’re successful at hiding what the fears are as well, but that’s an extra add-on.

Talking and thinking things through and making plans are great and have their place, but they aren’t a substitute for actually doing.  They can’t make change speed up, they don’t provide short cuts, and they can’t make it any less than what it actually is: change.  Not blame, not guilt, not forgiveness or enlightenment or transcendence.  These are words. They are ways of talking about things, the labels and categories we put on things after we’ve done them, experienced them, become them. They are ways to explain them to ourselves, but mostly to others.  They aren’t the change themselves and saying them or claiming them doesn’t make the change a reality.

There comes a point where talking becomes the problem, it becomes the stuck point that needs to be released.  So if you’ve rehashed the same information so many times it’s memorized, if you’ve discussed it and chewed it until it’s just a litany of facts that you real off when triggered, then stop talking.  For this moment it’s no longer effective.  You’ve talked it all out.  Now it’s time to do.