Self-sabotage is something I see a lot with my clients. What’s interesting is they fear that it’s their way more than I actually see it happening, which is probably a good thing. Awareness is the first step and alla that. And for the most part it’s not conscious, not willful, but a reaction or a subconscious identity piece that they haven’t yet dealt with. Which is also good because, usually, if the client is made aware of the underlying cause for the behavior, they are willing to start down the path towards the lesson/healing/incorporation/validation necessary to move forward on their path and without the behavior.
What is hard for me is those clients and just people in general who consciously choose self-sabotage. It’s not as uncommon as you think and it’s always complicated and unique to each individual, but it’s also really hard for those on the outside who want to help and know that they can’t. Watching a person put themselves into situations over and over again, willingly and with full comprehension that the situation will go wrong and end badly, knowing that to do something different, possibly the opposite, will get them what they say they want and what their soul book, their soul says is healthy and supportive and nurturing for them, is so hard to watch. Watching them be given all the facts, all the opportunities, all the support they can possibly have from their spiritual guides, from their teacher from their friends and family and community and to have them turn their back on it and choose to walk away for a moment or a lifetime can be and is devastating.
Choosing to try to be your best self can be frightening, challenging, traumatic and transformational, but from my own experience and watching others, sabotaging yourself in order to prevent it can be much worse.