You know the saying, “If it looks like a duck and acts like a duck and sounds like a duck then it’s probably..” There’s a lot of truth to that which people ignore on a really regular basis especially in relationships. I can’t even count how many people over the past 30 years have talked to me about how this person has been such a train wreck, but over the past little bit they have seemed to get things together, other than this exception and that one which really don’t count, and so things will all be different now and shouldn’t they give them the benefit of the doubt? Of course there are the others who can list off for you all the ways in which this person they are so attracted to and absolutely need in their lives is a rather horrible person, a lemon in need of a complete overhaul, and so amazingly not right, but that doesn’t matter because it will all work out.
Duck! Duck! OMG Duck! Seriously, if it looks like a train wreck, I don’t care how much paint you put on it, damage is going to get done because nothing is stopping those tons of iron and steel that are headed your way. Get off the tracks!!!
Ok, so there’s that. But what about the other issue. What if you’re legitimately a duck? Not a train wreck of a person who needs healing in a dire way, but a duck. A beautiful water bird who needs to congregate with others and to communicate about life in a regular fashion? It’s a great thing to be a duck around other ducks, avoiding the odd cat, not being chased by dogs, and ignoring the snide comments of swans and those high maintenance demanding geese. Sheesh! You can see just from that description that there is a rhythm to how you relate with others. Yes, we’re all people, but we’re not one size fits all. Not everyone gets along with everyone else. Some of us our built to live differently than others. Dogs don’t flock, cats are very singular about who they associate with, and raptors eat ducks as well as a lot of other birds. That doesn’t make them bad or wrong, just different. It should be uncomfortable for a duck person to try and hang out with a hawk person. They see things completely differently and hawk tends to rip ducks apart. Cat people just toy with everyone which is annoying for everyone except perhaps dog. Irony is that dog people like cats whether the cat wants that or not.
Being fully and completely yourself is one of the greatest joys in life. It opens doors and allows your soul the freedom to breathe and be adding your unique presence to this life we’re all living. Allowing others the same opportunity can be challenging. We want our needs to be met, for people to see things the way we see them, and to help others be the amazing person we see is possible within them. The first step is to admit when a duck is a duck, whether that’s admitting the truth about someone else or recognizing it in ourselves. Once we’ve done that we are more likely to see clearly the path ahead and act accordingly.