Most of us have people in our lives in some capacity who have their own agenda and need to tear us down, minimize us, keep us off-balance, make us feel incompetent or small or worthless.  They keep us reacting to them, to things that they want, perpetually trying to argue with them, make them see reason, get centered, get with the game plan so things can move forward.  But they don’t and the plan doesn’t and it’s like we’re a hamster on a wheel never getting anywhere but going there fast.

For some of us that person is on the periphery of things, annoying, but limited in their scope and we have ways of dealing with it.  Their impact is noticeable, but even if we do react in the moment, we’re able to course correct and take appropriate action to get things back on track.  For many of us this person or persons are a major part of our lives and interconnected with us in fundamental ways.  We spend the majority of our days and weeks and months in reaction mode until our life, which at one time was ours, is now theirs because we can do nothing but deal with them.  Without two seconds of free, unburdened time, we can do nothing else but rail at fate and look at life as a series of dramatic events that must be coped with.

The thing about this is, we have a choice.  No matter how intimately we are connected with people, we can choose to act rather than to react.  We can choose to take ourselves out of situations that necessitate we react.  We can choose to interact differently so drama is minimized.  We can choose to act for our own best and highest good and those who depend on us so that it is they that choose whether or not to react.  We are not a victim in our lives, we are a dance partner.  Don’t like the music, change the station.  Don’t like the dance, sit this one out or start dancing a different way.  If you’re krumping they won’t be able to Samba and if you ignore all their attempts to get you to stop either they have to krump along side you or they have to wait until you’re done.  No drama, no violence, no argument, no discussion, just pure and simple dancing the way you want when you want.  Beauty put out into the world for all to see, no harm, no foul.

So instead of reacting, take a step back.  Step off the hamster wheel and let them have a turn at it.  Instead, channel your energy towards something that makes you happy and starts moving your life forward.  They’ve taken enough actions for a while, it’s your turn.