If we’re doing it right our lives are a tapestry of interconnections.  “Everything’s connected” and alla that.  Being connected means that our actions affect not only us but others in big and small and every size in between ways and not everyone is going to like the effects of our actions.

The easiest way to see this is social networking.  Just liking or commenting or posting can cause ripples out into the world.  Something could go viral, something could go down in flames, all out fist fights could occur due to a comment about a cat picture, for goodness sake.  What we do affects other people, even though it probably shouldn’t in a number of cases.  *cough* trolls *cough*

So it shouldn’t come as any surprise when the big decisions, the things that are truly important to us affect others.  Still not islands, remember? Also, what may be a positive change for us might be a painful thing for someone else.  Doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing, doesn’t mean it’s a negative thing, but growth and change are often painful in one aspect or another.  But pain, for ourselves and for those we care about, is something we tend to want to avoid or if we can’t avoid it we certainly would like it if we’re not responsible for it.  This can cause us to look for connections, to look for signs and affirmations, to look for someone giving us permission to do what we know we have to do.  Because if we can say “it’s my spiritual path and I have to follow it” or “It’s the will of the Universe” or “this is our destiny and there’s nothing we can do about it” then the pressure is off. We’re off the hook concerning the responsibility for the change and the pain and can move along feeling vindicated and validated.

So we look for those connections, we look for a message written in the stars, for words from on high, for the authority who will tell us that this connection ends, this one begins, and this one changes like so.  And we don’t find them….  We look and we hunt and we search and we make excuses and we wait, but the connections seem to be missing because they weren’t there at all.  Because we are responsible for our actions.  We’re responsible for our lives.  We are co-creating ourselves in each moment which includes being 50%, or more, of any relationship we’re in.  We were responsible for getting in, we should be responsible for how we get out even if it’s to land when we are shoved off the cliff and end up in free fall.  No one wants pain and few of us want to inflict pain on others.  However, some change is painful.  Better to be respectful and honest and truthful about the situation, take responsibility for our actions, than to go looking for someone else to do it.  Because that just ends up in missed connections.