Most people think of conversations as what we say. They think that what they express is through words, through speaking, through talking it out.  There’s the printed word as well.  Words on the screen, on the page, on the wall.  Meaning comes through saying what we mean and meaning what we say.  Whether we’re talking around a person or directly to them, we feel that the message we want to impart needs to be through words. And for many people the challenge is to empower ourselves to speak the truth, be honest, be fearless and vulnerable and therefore take a further step into an authentic and wholehearted life.

However we often ignore the way in which we express things through our actions or inactions.  My cat is a great teacher on this subject.  She’ll be doing something on her own and the next thing I know she’s rolling on the floor near me, talking about how good life is, making happy chuffing noises and looking at me out of the corner of her eye periodically. If that doesn’t get my attention then she’ll come and sit or crouch just close enough to me that her tail touches me when she flicks it.  I call this behavior passive/aggressive.  🙂  My passive/aggressive kitty.  All of this an attempt to coerce me to stop doing whatever I’m doing, usually work on the computer, go downstairs and open the door so she can go outside.  It would be much more effective if she were to goto the door and meow at me, but then it wouldn’t seem like my idea.  Why be responsible and all confrontational when you can be cute and get petted and loved up for free in addition to getting the access you want?  LOL

I’m not recommending being passive/aggressive nor do I think that rolling on the floor next to someone is going to get you the end result you’re looking for.  But feel free.  What I am saying is that direct communication sometimes doesn’t get you what you’re looking for or leaves win/win benefits untouched.  For example, if you think that your sweetheart could achieve some of their goals by taking on gentle yoga, telling them so directly might get you a polite version of mind-your-own-business.  But talking with friends about how much you enjoy a particular class or routine (while you’re in earshot of your spouse), getting the kids involved in it, making it and other healthy activities part of your own routine and hanging out with others that do puts the message in the air without needed to talk about it at all.  This gives them the opportunity to make choices for themselves apart from any relationship dynamic between the two of you and lets it seem as if it’s their idea.  Who knows, they might be inspired in a direction you hadn’t thought of and open up vistas you’ve not explored.  And now my kitty thinks I need to go check on that whole door open or shut thing. 🙂