It’s something that seems to be what we want. We see it in others and covet it.  We feel like we don’t have it and we beat ourselves up about it.  We rail at our parents, our sweethearts, our bosses and Fate because they are keeping it from us.  Because if we were just left alone to do what we wanted the way we wanted then we would be happy.  Right.

So you might guess that I don’t believe any of that.  And I don’t, because of free will.  Here’s the deal.  Believe it or not we are not in control of the majority of what goes on around us, but we are in complete control of ourselves.  So if we’re not feeling happy, who is in control of that?  Hmmm….  I’m not saying you should fake being happy in a situation that shouldn’t make you happy.  No smiles and giggling at funerals unless it is our 15 of an Irish wake.  However, if you really want to be happy, then do something about it.  Look at the situations that are making you unhappy.  What can you do to improve the situation?

If your family makes you miserable, get some distance from them. Just because you are related doesn’t mean that you need to suffer craziness or abuse or follow their rules for family interactions.  Set your own boundary that helps you be happy and then stick to it.  They’ll come around eventually which will be happier for everyone.  Have a sweetheart that is making you crazy, talk to them about it, try to work through it, be respectful and remember that you care about each other.  But if you still aren’t happy with this person after all the chopping wood and carrying water that is working on a relationship, perhaps its time to end it.  If you aren’t happy they can’t be either and if they are happy that you aren’t happy, then something is seriously wrong. If your job makes you miserable, find another one or make plans to do something that will.  Opportunities usually arise when you put the intention out there.  Not happy where you live, go live somewhere else.  Moving can be a pain in the …..behind of your front…ahem…but going somewhere new can be an adventure of a lifetime that opens up a world of possibilities.

And remember this, as you are in control of you, if you are never happy, why are you choosing to be unhappy?  Because it is a choice.  Why do you want your life to be the way it is?  Because somehow it is serving some need that you have.  If you aren’t working to change an unhappy situation you are agreeing to and participating in making yourself unhappy on a long-term basis.  Finding out the root of why that is could be the key to opening up the most magnificent life you have never even imagined.