It takes all kinds, as they say. I marvel, though, at those who generate negative experiences in their lives. I’m not talking about addiction or co-dependence, no I’m referring to a specific type of person. They remind me of Pigpen from the Charlie Brown cartoons, but instead of existing in a cloud of dirt which they haplessly exude, they exist in the middle of a spiky sharp cloud of electric shocks that is constantly starting something. They aren’t comfortable unless they are in the middle of overcoming a negative interaction even while they are the ones generating the negative situation.
It’s a bit like watching the path of a tornado on TV. You can watch it come through and everywhere it touches there is chaos and it leaves destruction in its wake. I watched one such person instigate difficulties with every single person they dated. All of the people were nice, normal, steady, good people with good jobs. Yes, they all had their quirks and don’t we all, but nothing extreme or out of the norm. However, when they came in contact with this person the poking and the prodding was somewhat like a Spanish bullfight. There’s only so much damage you can take before you either run or fight. And this person just couldn’t understand why they weren’t able to find the right one or why men couldn’t see her for who she really was. I’ve experienced this myself with clients as well. From the moment they book and appointment until the end of the session they pick at details, instigate problems where none exist, argue with facts they provided to me and are irrelevant to the reading, and on and on. It serves no purpose but to allow them to be in their comfort zone of confrontation. They confront people for issues they instigated, feel vindicated for doing so, and feel that they have achieved a victory for defeating one more indignity in life. While at the same time asking why they are constantly being hurt and victimized and blamed for everything. *sigh*
We each have a comfort zone in life, a rhythm to our life. When it isn’t going that way we work to add in the missing bits so that things feel “normal” to us and fit what we need and how we need to be in the world. What we need to be careful of is when our normal isn’t healthy, balanced, or positive. If our normal includes things that make us feel less than, put upon, or that keep us from being ourselves, it’s time to reevaluate. We might be living in a cloud of our own making.