There are so many examples in life of why it’s not a good idea to try to create something new in the remains of something old. You don’t cook in a pot you haven’t cleaned first. Um, yuck. You don’t bring your new sweetheart into your home until you’ve removed all the evidence of the old sweetheart, not if you want to remain unscathed and have this new relationship work out. Oh, and change the sheets between lovers…I’m just sayin. You may not have a good sense of smell but others do….ahem…
So when you’re starting a new phase of your life, you don’t start it in the remains of the old one. You don’t try to make things fit into the old mold and think it will work. You don’t make do. Well, you can, but what you put in is what you get out so if what you want is a make do kinda life, then you’re on the right track. But if you’re aiming for new, better, best for you, then you need to start fresh. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water, so to speak. You’ve earned your scars, your memories, your prized remaining possessions. However, the beginning of any renovation project begins with demo.
You need to dismantle the old. You need to cut the ties, smash the last bridge, bring down all the old dreams and the “what ifs” and the “well we could be” remainders. If you’re going to have a new life then all the relationships will be new. Break things down, gut it back to studs, get perspective by making everything new. You don’t know what you have to work with until you can see the structure of things. Leftovers and could have beens get in the way. Tear them out. It doesn’t mean you can’t repurpose them or donate them, but until you get them out of the way you won’t be able to see what’s there or to move forward constructively. You can’t create a work of art without prepping your materials and your life is the most important work of art you’ll ever make. So strip off the old paint, remove the gnarly remains of decals, sand down the rust, get rid of the bits that don’t work any more and can’t be repaired, get yourself ready.
Once you’ve done the demo you’ll be able to see the possibilities, feel the sense of space, the renewal that comes from letting go, and the energy of what could be. In that moment you’ll begin to see how what you’ve retained fits into the big picture and propels you forward rather than holding you back…