I was in a conversation recently where a peer, out of the blue, stated in ringing tones that men were active beings and women were passive, receptive, emotional, artistic things. I had to work not to let my jaw drop in public. Are you kidding me? In all of my life, I don’t believe anyone would have described me as passive. I’m an A type personality who has been in management in international corporations and now runs her own business and is a professional author. Still not passive. I can’t even watch tv without working on my personal art. And I’m not some exception to the rule. All the women I know in my life are very active, following their passions, doing the best they can to make ends meet, raise their kids, and get through all the challenges of being adult. And if you think women are passive, just spend a couple of hours with a mom and her two year old. Nope, not even possible.
We are not passive and that perspective is out moded and needs to be jettisoned, not because things have changed, but because our understanding of things is changing. Women are becoming more sovereign in their own lives. And men aren’t floating around somewhere else while this is happening. And they aren’t victims of some New Age, Feminazi revolution that is going on. The paradigm of what it is to be female and to be male is changing. That’s not to say that our essential natures are changing, but that our understanding of what they are, of our capabilities, of the possibilities is changing. And as women open up and expand and attempt new things and new ways of being, so men are as well. Or at least they are trying.
Something that has been showing up in men’s Akashic records over the past decade is a shift away from the rigid roles they have been required to fit. This notion of man as bread winner, as career oriented, as going out from the home and then coming back to it like an emotionless worker ant is falling away. And a new (ancient) paradigm of what is to be male is beginning to be created. For centuries we have been told that men are linear, that they go out and come back (very phallic symbology) and that women are home makers, staying in one place, making space for men and family, sending them out and awaiting their return (bowl and pelvis symbology). It’s very simplistic, but language and symbols can help us create a framework in which we can learn, discuss, create meaning from life. As long as we’re aware that’s what’s happening and don’t mistake the symbols and the language for reality.
But what if we look at things differently. What if we change the symbols up to show different aspects of the masculine. What I see in men’s soul books is much more akin to the Emperor in the Tarot. That they are being challenged not to leave the home, but to create it. To create the structure in which women can have safe and nurturing space to create and grow, to unfold into their sovereignty. It’s not about power over any more than women being home maker was about power. It’s about being in balance both external/creative and internal/present so that women and children have full access to what it is that is essentially male. It is such a gift to know that the male in our life is paying attention, even when no action is needed. That they are able to participate in the events of the family, that they can add their wisdom to family and community life. That the mission is not to be on a mission, but to be there, available, accessible, and comfortable with the feeling of building it as you go along.
It’s not about ‘getting in touch with your inner female’ as much as getting in touch with being male. It’s not about being softer, it’s about being here and not constantly trying to get somewhere else or solve something. Many times there’s nothing to solve except the long term mission of being part of the family/community. So if women are creating new ways of being in the 21st century, so are men. And we need to honor them and their work and their courage just as much.