At some point in our lives we come to realize that our parents are human beings. Hopefully…If you haven’t yet…well…sorry. I hate to point out the facts about Santa. And don’t anyone tell the people at NORAD. They think they’re tracking his progress each year. So sweet…
Ahem…anyway. Parents. They are human beings and yet we can perceive them as these mythical beings which control and overshadow our lives long after they’ve actually stopped doing so. And one of the things we add into this myth is that everything they do is about us, for us, and for our best interests. I’m not saying one way or the other but the minute anyone starts using the words “everything”, “always”, or “never” you know you have problems because they aren’t real. Absolutes never are. 😉
Parents are human and some of them are fabulous, some of them are good, others are sub-par and still others are horrific. And every shade of the rainbow in between all those. Very few to none of them are saints. Therefore rarely will their every thought and action be about you. What’s startling can be the fact that they may not have your best interest in mind. Many parents see their children as extensions of themselves instead of unique individuals. They see their children as themselves or another chance to do things differently, to achieve salvation or validation for the lives they themselves have lived. And so they act in a way according to that regardless of what it does to the child. They do it in the face of all facts that say they shouldn’t and that it’s at best neutral and at worst destructive to the child.
Which can be confusing if the assumption is they are doing it from the perspective of the child’s best interest. Remove that assumption and you may begin to see the actual parental perspective. Even if you have/had the best parents in the world, removing your self from the equation and looking at them as humans will give you insights into who they are and what they’ve imparted to you that you might never have otherwise known.