In order to have space for the things you want to do and be in life, you have to say no. There’s no way around it. While you are living this resplendent embodied life you are finite. You are a finite resource and so must choose what you spend your energy doing and being. That means letting go of things, people, and ideas that coulda/shoulda/woulda made your life what you wanted it to be but can’t/don’t/won’t. It means not taking people at their world, but taking their actions as the truth of who they are and acting accordingly.
To have space for the things you want to do and be in life you’ll need to sort and sift through all the things you’ve been given over time. The labels that created an easy short hand for who you were supposed to be. The smart one, the dumb one, the peace maker, the bread winner, the strong one, the pretty one, the one that never goes anywhere, the one that can never stand still…These labels aren’t you, they are the Tetris pieces that make a family, a community, a tribe fit together. That doesn’t mean they fit you. Often times they are meant to confine you, control you, break you so that you better fit others needs. They aren’t you. Step out of them, scrape them off, set them aside, and experience yourself without restrictions. Only you define you and there are no need for labels. Be and let others speak words that describe how you make them feel and what blessings you’ve imparted.
The space for the things you want to do and be in life isn’t out there somewhere, it’s in you. It’s filled every day with the things you accept unquestioningly, the “have-to’s” and the “just-the-way-it-is’s” and the “should’s.” Lay out a blanket and shake them all out on to it. When you look, some of them will be old and worn out, some of them will be repellant, some are precious and pluck at the heart-strings, while others obviously need a little TLC and they’ll be good as new again. Sort through them, be ruthless, be honest, be afraid and keep going anyway. The only way to have space for what you want is to clear out what you don’t. No one is going to say “no” for you. No one else is going to clear out the debris, take a stand, or reach in to figure it all out for you. It’s up to you.