I believe that a great majority of the debate, the argument, the discussion, around women’s rights is being framed incorrectly. Men are seen as empowered and fighting to control women and doing things to women or simply ignoring them. However, it would seem that this is completely backwards. Why would women need all this controlling if men were ignoring them? Why would there need to be regulation of women if men were actually in control? There wouldn’t.
I have always wondered at cultures that have restrictions on women’s behaviors. Because the behaviors are all the same and come from the biology of women. Hair, breasts, ability to have children, being in-ies instead of out-ies, menstruation, etc. As these are natural, normal and non-threatening things, why must they be controlled? And somehow the conversation turns to how women need to be managed, their behaviors are potentially dangerous, and they are incapable of acting in their own and the culture’s best interest. But the problem doesn’t seem to be with women, in my view. Now I know I’m painting things in very broad strokes so please don’t be offended here. I know quite a few amazing men who are the gold standard of what men should be in the world including partnering some very spectacular significant others and I applaud them. They make me happy every single day and give me hope for the future. However…the cultural view seems to miss the point that the problem is not how women dress, what they do with their boobs, or whether or not they had an adult beverage. The issue appears to be with men.
How broken are our men that cleavage makes them into rapists? How immature and dangerous are men if they think that because I have worn something they have the right to force me into sex acts against my will? Why in the world do we all agree that men being dangerous and having no responsibility for their urges is acceptable and the status quo? Wouldn’t it be nice if we all agreed that the status quo was actually “What would Bill Cosby do?” Imagine for a moment what walking down the street would be like as a woman if that were the case? Besides full of laughter and hijinks? Would there be the need to constantly monitor every human around you for malicious intent? Would there be a need to check that skirts were possibly sending the wrong message? Would there be a need to cover up to prevent sending the wrong message?
I’m not saying that all women are saints or that we don’t act incorrectly as the most inopportune time, but if we flipped perception on its head, if we assumed that it was wrong to take any action to harm a women sexually or otherwise, if we knew and acted as if women were equal and we actually respected them, I believe our culture would heal a great wound or at least be able to take off its blinders and see the world more clearly.