Our actions speak volumes about what we value and how we value it.  Yes, if we sit down and think about the people, roles, responsibilities, and goals in our lives, we can come up with a priority list that ranks these things and we can probably talk about them in a meaningful way.  But if we compare that list to our actions, if we use our daily actions and choices to list for us what we value and how we value it/them most people would find that the two lists don’t match.  Some of them dramatically so!

It’s eye-opening to let go of the way you think you value things and people, especially yourself, and instead look at your actions and how you are actually valuing things.  An easy way to see this is to keep an activity diary.  Like a food diary, list out the things you do in the order you do them each day keeping track of how much time you spend doing them including preparing to do them and the amount of time you spend thinking about them.  Account for your day in 15 minute increments as if your time was as valuable as a lawyer’s billable hours.  At the end of a week sit down and bill those hours to the appropriate clients such as significant others, relatives, children, friends, organizations, work, school, etc.

If can or can have a friend do it for you it’s interesting to plug that information into a tool that will make it into a pie chart. Check out how value is placed on everything else but you.  How much is placed on things you’d rather not be doing?  How much out of balance is everything?  Is there anything left over for the life you want to have?  Is there anything left over for you beyond the bare minimum to keep you standing upright?  What would it take for you to become worthy of being on the pie chart?  Trick question.  You’re worthy because you’re alive, because you exist, because you’re amazing and deserve all the good things that life can bring.  The real question is, when do you become part of your own pie chart?  When do you value you in the life that you lead?