What happens when something hurts you personally? When what someones says or what they do cuts you? How do you react? Or do you? It’s something that defines us as individuals and affects all of us collectively so it’s worth taking a minute to look at it. Besides, when you’re in the moment the last thing you are capable of is looking at it or thinking rationally, so now is probably the best time to look at it. Unless someone is doing or saying something to you at this moment. If so, please stop reading this blog and go react. We’ll wait….
So while we’re waiting, let’s just go ahead with the discussion. I’m sure they’ll catch up. When something hurts what do you do? Do you react to them and reach out to cause the same amount of hurt to that person or to try to get them to stop? This is natural and a version of mirroring. We are mirrors for each other’s behavior so it makes sense that we would mirror what we are experiencing from them. Do you show your hurt and emotions in the moment? Do you experience them in real-time and live through them allowing yourself to be in that moment as much as in the pleasant ones? Being sad or angry or hurt or furious are natural emotions. Bottling them up inside can be harmful if done on every occasion over a long period of time. Not expressing them can also cause a communication breakdown between yourself and others as they have no way of knowing who you are or how you are feeling about a situation if you don’t express yourself. This can cause negative effects in relationships between siblings, parents and their children, significant others, friends, you name it. However going to the extreme and communicating every emotion as it occurs can be TMI (Too Much Information). Some things should remain private. The challenge of life is, as always, to find the balance.
How you feel about a situation is something you have little control over. In the moment you will feel what you feel. Feelings grown and change over time as experience accumulates, but in the main, what you have is what you get. However, how you act in a situation is completely up to you. So before you have another experience that sets you on edge and has you reacting, take stock of how you react and why. Is that how you want to go through life from today onwards? You can’t change the past but you most definitely can change the future, especially when it comes to the actions and reactions you participate in.