The New Codependency by Melody Beattie
Codependency is normal behavior, plus. There are times we do too much, care too much, feel too little, or overly engage. We forget where the other person’s responsibilities begin and our responsibilities stop. Or we get busy and have so much to do that we neglect ourselves.
Codependents may be smothering, clinging, and needy (they kill us with kindness and try to please us until we can’t stand them). But on the brighter side, once they work through these issues, they can become outstanding people. Many use their experiences to become successful entrepreneurs. Studies show that people who grow up in troubled families handle stress significantly better than others; they keep going when people around them who had it easier fold…
When we start taking care of ourselves, the deficits from our pasts transform into assets. Many people with codependency issues are loyal and dedicated. They get the job done. They obsess, but they also persevere. They want to help and once they learn to help themselves, they usually do. Many become leaders, people who change the world.
Codependency is about crossing lines. How can we tell if what we’re doing is codependent? When we cross the line into the Codependent Zone, we’ve usually got an ulterior motive for what we do, and what we’re doing hurts. It doesn’t work…
It’s easier to see what other people are doing than it is to see ourselves. That’s a human trait and codependent behavior. Because codependent behaviors protected us, letting go of them can feel frightening at first. Are you willing to feel uncomfortable for a while?