Anger in our culture is such a divisive emotion. Besides the fact that it is over used and abused in the media because of the drama factor, people have such striking opinions about it. Some feel that it should only be displayed in private, behind closed doors and only to the person or persons involved with it. Some feel that its not appropriate at all and should be quashed in order to rise to a level of more civilized society and culture. Having experienced life where anger was not displayed or approved of, my experience is that anger unexpressed is the most deadly of all. Because it doesn’t go away, it just becomes more bitter and more vehement.
Anger in itself is just an emotion. It’s a reaction to something either internal or external and communicates to the person experiencing it that something has occurred that has caused him/her pain. That’s it. Nothing more. Experiencing anger hurts nothing and no one. In fact it is healthy just as physical pain is healthy. Physical pain tells us when damage is occurring to our body giving us a chance to avoid further damage and to repair the injury. Without it life would be short and deadly. Anger is the emotional side of this. Knowing that we have been hurt is good. It can help us take actions to help resolve the issue so that further damage does not occur and the injury can be repaired.
And that, I think, is where people get confused. It’s not the anger that’s the issue. It’s the actions that come from anger. There are a plethora of means to express anger, as many as there are individuals and unique situations. Expressing anger in a way that conveys the emotion, the situation that caused it, and the results of it to the person or persons who caused the feeling may or may not be helpful to all parties. Expressing the anger through physical violence to other beings is never a good thing. Personally I find it very satisfactory to purchase cheap, mismatched plates from the second-hand store and throw them onto an outside concrete surface that is easily cleanable. The breaking helps me work through the emotion, the sound is immensely satisfactory, no one is harmed, and I’ve supported my local community through my purchase. But I digress.
Anger is an emotion and like all emotions it will pass if you allow yourself to feel it in the moment. It’s not the feeling that is ever truly an issue, but the actions you take due to the fact that you are feeling the emotion. Anger can be an amazing force for positive change if the energy is used to find creative means of resolving an issue, changing a situation, or communicating with the other parties involved. suppressing the emotion, not feeling it, creates toxic situations for yourself and those around you. Because anger does not go away. It becomes land mines waiting for the right trigger, poison that corrupts the health of the person, or such deep sadness and physical pain that happiness can become collateral damage not only for that person but everyone around them. It’s alright to feel anger. Just take a breath and wait until your brain can catch up with you before you decide what to do about it.