There’s this weird thing that happens when people talk about moving forward in their lives or making changes or manifesting their purpose or their dreams or…whatever.  On the one hand they talk about how they want things to be and then in the next breath they turn and look back at how things have “always been” or “what happened when” and extrapolate the future based on that.  Which makes my head hurt and I feel like I’ve got mental whiplash watching it happen.  So if things are going to be different, then how can you use past events to foresee the future?  If the future is going to be different from the past, then how things go in the future will be different than they have been in the past, right?

People ask me if they will be able to find a good partner for their lives, and when I look and see that that is the case (not a given, btw) they often then ask me “Well how do I know I won’t make another mistake or that he/she won’t be just like the last one?”  Um…because you’re doing things differently?  Because you’ve learned and grown and are going to use all that becoming and wisdom to not make the same mistake again?  Because the past and how it played out wasn’t entirely about you since you’re not king of the world (That’s Leonardo DiCaprio) and so you were collaborating with the other person and this new person will be…*drumroll*…a new person.

If we’re going to create this brave new world for ourselves where things are different and better and best, then we need to also change things in ourselves.  Including our habit of relying on what happened before to project outwards on how it will be in the future.  There’s a difference between using the wisdom and skills that we have gained through experience and using the events that occurred to us to imprison us in a ground hog’s day of perpetual sameness.  Using our wisdom to be aware of our choices and the situation is good, using historical facts to state what we know to be true about the future makes it impossible to move forward.  That’s like trying to buy an iPad but assuring ourselves that what we’ll end up with is a Mac Classic and going ahead with all the plans to buy a Mac Classic because we’ve done it in the past while still talking as if this will get us the iPad that we deserve and acting like we’ve changed things.

Actual change requires some assembly including giving up what we’ve known before as if that’s the only way things can be.  Change means new actions, new outcomes, and possibly a new identity.  Don’t just think about how much you deserve an iPad, take the actions necessary to get one, actually get it, and then start working with it.  You’ve done enough thinking about it.  Stop thinking and start being.