People ask me “what am I doing wrong?” and “what’s the lesson in this because it keeps happening?” which is a good place to start in looking at any given issue. And sometimes there is a lesson and sometimes there is something being done wrong, but not always. Sometimes what they are doing isn’t wrong, it’s just the same thing done the same way they have always done it. And the lesson isn’t some cosmic thing they are here to learn, it’s a common sense thing that is trying to point out that whole expecting a different result from doing the same thing over and over….
Many times it’s not in what we are doing, but how we are going about it that is causing the problem. It’s not that we need to do a 180 and do something completely different, it’s that we need to stop doing it the way we’ve always done it. Which is one of the hardest things to do because how we do things is just as wound into our identities as the things we do. Simple examples of this are handwriting and typing. Even though these are skills that can be learned and therefore improved on over time, people look at these things as if once learned that’s as good as it gets. I remember one summer where I worked with a free online program that helped improve typing skills and so I moved my typing speed from 80 to 100 words a minute (accurately I might add) and people were amazed. They were just stunned and acted like I was some magician from another world. Nope, just played computer games that improved my typing ability. Quick, easy, and fun. But for most people it changed a piece of my perceived identity because I changed how I do things.
If there is something in your life that is stuck and nothing seems to budge it, take a step back. Have you approached it in any way other than your usual way? Have you thought outside the box in how you could approach solving the situation? Have you challenged your assumptions about you and what you are capable of in order to find solutions? Or is that something you leave to circumstances as they arise? The issue might not be that the situation is stuck, but you are stuck in your own situation. What can you do today to unstick who you think you are and what you can do?