I’ve heard this conversation so many times and I get it, but it’s still frustrating.  “My life is like _______ and I just can’t take it any more.  I need to do something about it I guess.”  The thing about this conversation is that it’s confusing.  It looks like someone who needs help and is asking for advice or support or help.  But in actuality it is someone needing validation of the state they are in and that’s it’s ok to be that way.  Which, for the most part, depending on how long they have been in that state, is usually what they get.  And if they don’t get that, they move on to another person or group that will give it to them.  They don’t want to change, because the situation, crappy as it may be, is giving them something they want or need.

The truth is that while we are amazingly creative, intelligent beings, we are also mammals.  And as mammals we respond to positive and negative input.  If it hurts, we avoid it and if it makes us feel good or helps us avoid deeper/bigger pains, we keep on doing it.  So if we are staying in a situation that is negative, then it must be feeding us somehow or we wouldn’t keep doing it.

Most recently the conversation came up with a couple of friends of mine.  One was talking about his wife and his living situation.  They haven’t been intimate in years, they don’t spend time with each other, they don’t have common interests, the wife is never home and the home has become a dumping ground and is so run down it is irredeemable.  So once again he was saying that he probably should leave because there was no reason for him to be there.  The other friend replied “Bull****.  You’ve been saying that for over a decade and do nothing about it.  There is something about that situation that you need or want because you choose to stay day after day.  Let me know when something changes, otherwise I don’t want to hear about it.”

So he has taken that story to someone else who will listen and support him in his situation.  *sigh*   Are you in a positive space that feeds you and all around you with inspiration or are you stuck in something that is holding you back?  What feeds you?