Self-sabotage can be the silent soul killer. Our brains are amazing pattern makers. We look at random facts and experiences and make structures out of them that may or may not be true. Or they may have been true at one time but circumstances have changed and now they are not. But we hold onto them as the structure of our reality. And being resourceful creatures, when we come across some fact or experience that doesn’t fit our pattern, we label it as an anomaly, a piece of luck, a one-off, and ignore it. And we just keep doing that even though the one-offs, synchronicities, and anomalies become a snow storm of reality that others can see is burying us.
Because change is somehow equated with being wrong and being wrong is equated with being a bad person or a failure and failure is not an option, as if life were a military objective and every action holds someone’s life in the balance. *sigh* So we hold onto our self-made structures and keep from looking at the facts drifting above our heads and stay adamant that what we believe is actually the truth. Which takes an awful lot of energy.
I’m always so excited when I see someone sitting in their structure, buried in snow, who actually turns their head to actually look at the snow. The first step to resolving any issue is to acknowledge that there is an issue. Once they see the snow they can choose whether or not to change their structure. And they can never again go back to ignoring the fact that there is snow. It’s a breakthrough moment. For instance, some people feel that to work at a job that you love is either impossible or means that you live in genteel or not so genteel poverty. That being a true artist means that you won’t get paid for what you do and if you want to get paid you have to ‘sell out’. That having a relationship means that one is successful and the other is the sidekick. Two successful people could never maintain a loving and healthy relationship.
The list goes on and on. Where is it that you feel stuck? In that stuck place, what excuses and rules and ‘truths’ immediately come to mind as far as why you are stuck? Is there one that you can look at directly today to see if there is a mound of ‘snow’ around it?