There is always one thing you don’t get to. The problem comes in when that thing is really, really important such as your health, your dreams, or your quality of life. And there are all kinds of reasons for why that can be the case and almost all of them are completely reasonable, common sensical, even logical. And yet the issue persists.
Some people just need to be pointed in the right direction. I’ve been there. Literally I don’t know what it is I’m missing and if I ask around, someone will point it out to me and then I’m off to the races. But I’m the kind of person that is willing to do life changing things, to change how I perceive myself and how I operate in the world in order to get what I want such as a healthy, spiritually harmonious life. Not everyone is that way.
Over the years I have met more than a few people who know exactly what needs to be done and yet they don’t do it. And the various reasons they give for it distill down to “I allow myself to not choose to do that, doing other things throughout the day until there’s no time or energy left to do it.” This is not about being flaky, it’s not about being lazy or uncommitted. Some of these people do amazing things with their life, work their asses off, are fabulous parents and spouses and friends, etc. But in this area, which they point out themselves, they seem to go into a daze and can’t figure out what to do about it or how it connects to anything else. So everything else crowds it out.
When this comes up, the first thing that pops into my mind is hard core drug addicts. Sounds weird, but hear me out. Drug addicts see an issue in their life that they need to resolve, every single day. They need to get their fix. And they are the most entrepreneurial, problem solving, a-type personality people around. Because absolutely nothing gets in their way when they are resolving this issue. Not family, not the law, not their own safety, nothing. And they are completely aware of the damage that this is doing to them, they are aware of the changes this has made in their life, and yet they keep on doing it.
Yes, it’s drastic and yes we’re taught to believe that people like that are somehow a different species than the rest of us, but they’re not. And the two behaviors are really kissing cousins. Both groups know they need to be doing things that they aren’t doing and both are choosing not to do that and instead are going after what makes them feel right and best in the moment. And in both instances to change requires more than just a momentary action. It requires changing and entire system of living. It requires reevaluation of everything you are doing and why you’re doing it. It requires that you get help from friends and family and possibly peers or others from fields that can support you. It requires that you commit every day to living your life in a new way and stick with it. It’s necessary to remember that nobody stays on the wagon permanently. Falling off is common. It’s about getting back on.
So the first thing I would do if were looking at that one thing I never get to, is to evaluate how important it really and truly is. Because to get to it is probably going to require me to change a whole lot of a whole lot up to and including changing my identity and how I operate in and with the world around me. And I need to take a good hard look at if I’m willing to make that change and if the issue is worth the effort.