Our left brain, the logic side of things, is a problem solver. It helps us get from here to there, helps us understand cause and effect, keeps us safe and heads us in the right direction. For the most part it’s not creative at all which is why it shouldn’t be in charge of making the big decisions. It only works with the facts it has in hand, our experiences and what we’ve learned of the world otherwise, and extrapolates from them. Hence it’s really good to tune in to other wisdom when making the big choices or trying to figure out something new.
If there is an exception to this rule it shows up in our ability to create from thin air the reasons, motivations, and inner workings of others from their actions. The left brain is a officionado of making the thinnest evidence into facts so strong they can hold up skyscrapers. I have seen people use one email interaction with someone they have never met and spin an entire back story for that person which explains in detail why they would write the email the way they did, leave out things they left out (???) and what it all means concerning their character and the storyteller personally. It’s entertaining and breathtaking as performance art, but not particularly healthy or handy when it comes to navigating the world.
Remember, the left brain, the logic side that extrapolates meaning from things and puts them into perspective, is supposed to be a problem solver and this activity is an off shoot of problem solving. When we don’t know who someone is or why they have expressed someone there is a lack of knowledge, a knowledge void, and so the logic brain seeks to fill that void. One way of doing this is to spin a story that fills in the gaps. Our own life experience and perspectives can do nicely and, with the problem solved, we can move forward. However, while the temporary knowledge void has been solved, a greater problem has been created in that the story is just that, a story. It’s based on the need of the teller, not on facts or the person being spoken about. The story might be true, partially true, sort of but not in the ballpark or amazingly off base. Without further facts or checking in with the person there’s no way to know. So now we have meaning where none actually exits, understanding of things that aren’t real, and we have moved forward into a world that is slightly off true and puts us out of sync.
The remedy for this is to fill the gaps with truth. Reaching out to the person in question and asking may or may not get you the information you’re looking for such as “why?” or “how could you?” or “who are you?” but it will most certainly get you farther than not. Filling the void with “I don’t know”, “They won’t tell me,” and “They are a person who doesn’t respond to the question I asked in the way I asked it” is far better than filling it up with hot air.