There is definitely a line between focusing on a goal, and focusing so tightly on what we want that we are unable to see what is right in front of you. It’s good to work towards something and to focus on that enough to be able to accomplish it. But if that is all you focus on, what wonders you will miss along the way. Besides the fact that a laser-like focus can keep you from seeing that all the actions you take are futile because the target you want to hit and what you are aiming at are two very different things.
I have clients that ask me questions about why they can’t succeed in their jobs, why they can’t get promoted, why they struggle every step of the way just to get the basic benefits of the job that everyone else gets, why they have to go through extra hoops to get what they deserve…..And they expend huge amounts of energy trying to make all of this work for a host of reasons that are all very logical and prosaic. They funnel all of their time either into working on issues, doing their job, or worrying about the issues and the job. They become not only frustrated and unsatisfied with the work, but exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically. And the answer their soul books usually provide is, stop working at that job. It’s not going to work out because it’s not what you’re supposed to be doing. Prepare to do something that you will enjoy and that will match who you truly are. Doh! The glitch is that they never thought of that because they were so focused on the goal of making this job work. Release yourself from the hamster wheel and find somewhere that fosters your soul instead of slowly killing it.
Others are just stuck on having that one person in their life. Not any person, not the right person, not someone who makes sense and will make a good life with them, but ‘that’ person over there. The one that ignores them or makes them miserable or that they failed at having a relationship with. It doesn’t matter that there are several other options available, that they could be ridiculously happy with a small change in their lives that allows them to meet a new segment of the population. Their goal is to make this situation work with this one person who doesn’t want to be with them or can’t be with them because its awful when they are. Let it go. Believe the other person. Believe our own experience. Grieve that relationship and let it go, but don’t tie in your ability to love and be loved to that one relationship. The world isn’t over if this one doesn’t work. There will be others if you allow it.
And still others are fixated on how spirituality works for them. It’s not working if they are getting messages from beyond. It’s not working if they don’t have some psychic talent. It’s not real if there isn’t some magical something happening that proves they are special and unique and gifted. Which is backwards from how it really works. Spirituality isn’t some party game, it’s a way of life. And magic happens all the time regardless of whether we are noticing it or not. And we are special, whether or not we are noticing the magic. The idea is to live. Live life to its fullest using everything you’ve got, heart/soul, mind/body. When you do that, when you open yourself to who you truly are, naiveté and mistarts and successes and joyous ‘aha!’s along the way, then you can see and really appreciate the amazing and unique things that happen every day and not have to go searching for them or have them appear as proof of your good works. You’ll have proof enough of that within yourself.