I’m a fan of “both/and.” I think that quite a few problems come from the either/or way of thinking and the “my way or the highway” mode of perceiving the world. I work with lots of really great people who believe and perceive that there is no way to get from here to there because they way they have decided the world works is the way it actually works, it’s their way, and it’s not going allow them to achieve whatever is they want and/or need. Like the person that is forever waiting for that perfect moment to start dancing because they’ll just know when it arrives….but it never does and so they lose years of joy in the waiting. Or the person who wants to start their own practice but it needs to emerge from them like Athena from the head of Zeus, fully formed and functioning. So they have to save up all the start up money and get an office and put together a website and put together advertising….it all hinges on the money….I don’t have enough money….meanwhile clients are knocking on the door to be seen and don’t care about the office or the website or the marketing…they are already there…
I’m all for “both/and” thinking. Yes, you need the money to make that office a reality, but part of the way you’re going to get that money and be happy and serve clients and be successful right away is to not wait, but start seeing clients now. You can be seeing clients, holding down the regular job, and saving up for the office all at the same time. And then when the time is right you’ll step into that full time job in your very own practice without skipping a beat. And while you’re waiting for that perfect moment to go dancing you can be taking dancing lessons, meeting people, enjoying yourself, and honing your skills so when you get out there it’s just one more dance step to take. 🙂
But there are the other people, the too much “both/and” people, that hold themselves back by not letting go. There’s a tarot card for this issue, it’s the four of pentacles. The person sitting under the tree looking grumpy and hugging his coins to himself. We tend to think about this as having to do with money and with being miserly, and it can be. But it’s also about not letting go. It’s that silly but true saying about the grasping hand can hold little but the open and receptive hand can hold anything. Things change. Energy moves. Relationships grow…together…apart… sometimes both/and isn’t the right solution to the issue. Sometimes trying to hold onto something keeps you and that thing from reaching your full potential. Sometimes the best thing, the thing that creates positive energy, is to let go, to step back, to fold ’em and let someone else have their turn. Part of creating is allowing others to experience the creation. And they can’t do that if you won’t let go. That doesn’t necessarily mean walking away, although it could. But it definitely means releasing yourself and the other. Perhaps you’ll reconnect in a different way. But you’ll never know if you don’t release…