It’s not the addictive substances or activities we use to medicate the pain away. It’s the things that we’ve been taught don’t matter – sitting in the sunlight, crafting for no other purpose than just because you feel like it, going for a walk somewhere you’ve never been. Why do those things if there’s no ‘purpose’? If it doesn’t ‘get you anywhere’ or achieve something, then why bother. A friend of mine created an entire miniature living room in an acrylic box. I asked her what it was for and she said, ‘I want to put it out on a street corner so people can experience it’. Why not? It made her happy for months as she created it and probably made alot of other people stop and think, get out of their rut, or just be for a moment. Which all seems like a purpose, but really it’s not.
Don’t go looking for what makes you happy because your soul already knows. What you need to do consciously is allow yourself to do the things that make you feel happy without judging yourself or making it a negative in your head because you’ve been taught that things without an end result are worthless and happiness is just self indulgence once you are past the age of 12.
Be indulgent. You are the only you that exists and you’re worth it.