I enjoy working with clients (and friends and family for that matter) on the issues that are really troubling them. Not that I have a magic wand that can fix things or that I’m some all powerful being that has all the answers. Wouldn’t that be amazing and boring? I mean, everything would become “So what?” and I would just give people an answer or fix the issue and then what would I do for the rest of the day?….anyway, what I like is that just sitting and talking about the issue not only allows them to blow off steam, can bring into being some pretty funny and/or crazy, and sometimes both, stories, and gives them a different perspective on the situation. But best of all it allows them to say the answer, which they usually know and can articulate, they have just been ignoring it.
Here’s what I mean: A client comes to me wanting to know what they should do with their life now that they have lived through or are completing a significant transition event (divorce, relocation, end of job, kids graduating, grandkids coming on the scene, etc). After explaining how they go there, they start explaining their confusion by giving me all the details of what they want to do, what they have done to make that possible, where their ultimate goal is, and then sputter into silence because they are completely confused as to what they should do next. But if I make suggestions they perk right back up to let me know whether that works or doesn’t with their plan, which they don’t think they have and are confused over.
I’m not sure whether it’s a trust issue in that they have learned not to trust themselves or whether they need external validation, because let’s face it, we all do and that’s not an inherently bad thing, but whatever it is, what they really need is to be able to say the words, to hear themselves speak the truth, in order for them to start acting on it. So whether I point out to them that they already know the answer to their questions, or just lead them around to that perspective and let them discover it on their own, the reality is that I love facilitating these conversations. Because talking it out is amazingly powerful and empowering. Being able to say it to another person makes it real. And helping dreams become reality is one of the best parts of my job.
So what about your life in this New Year do you need to talk out? Tomorrow is New Moon in January and will signal and end to our 2012 hangover and rehashing of what has been, regardless of what the media will keep doing (It is now Awards season after all), and will move us to start acting on our transformations. Let’s start talking, shall we? Discuss amongst yourselves…