When I look at the notes that a client wrote in their soul book about this life, there are detailed notations about their parents, referring to the embodied beings that brought them into this life.  There are additional notations concerning any adoptive parents and all the other adults that might have had significant input into the persons early childhood and upbringing.  But for the purposes of this point, I’d like to focus on the biological parents.

First, we do choose our parents.  We can’t know everything that they are going to do any more than we know everything that we are going to do ahead of time.  Life is not predetermined nor predestined.  Free will is a thing.  There is, however, a lot that we do know about them and an amazing array of considerations that go into our choice.

One is culture/race/socio-economics.  If we want to be part of the culture of India or Pakistan or China or Japan or Viet Nam as an indigenous member and live in a certain way within that culture, then we will choose parents that give us access to that experience. If there is a certain DNA heredity that we want then we will narrow down the choices to a couple who will provide us with that raw material to work with.  These choices can be made very easy if we are embodying with our soul group as a family unit.

Then you get into further details looking at what kind of childhood you need to learn the lessons you have planned for this life, provide you the type of skills and foundation you need in order to do the work or achieve the goals you have set, and set the role models for being male/female and the relationships between them that you will work with (or against) as an adult.  Of course it is way more involved and complicated than that, but this description can give you an idea of the process.

It becomes more complex when we are not choosing parents from our own soul group.  This choice gets made about 50% of the time for a variety of reasons.  Many times it’s because there just aren’t enough of our soul group embodying to fulfill all the roles needed or because we need a skill set/experience/perspective that doesn’t reside in our soul group.  For example, a soul that comes from a group that tends to be analytical might choose artistic or socially skilled parents in order to learn more about that way of being.  And vice versa.  Sometimes we choose parents because we have to have a set of parents in order to achieve adulthood and so we choose from what’s available that will simply be the least problematic.  At other times we choose them because they will provide us the best and most supportive childhood so that we can open up fully to our path at a very early age rather than having to heal from childhood issues first therefore not opening up until mid-life.

So what I’m saying is that our parents aren’t always here as a cosmic life lesson, as a trial, as some kind of karma to be worked out.  You aren’t missing something by not understanding them or not feeling like you fit or feeling disconnected.  You aren’t wrong for feeling that you’ve been the adult in the situation since you were born.  Their behaviors aren’t scripted any more than yours are and they can succeed and fail just as much as you can.  So no matter what you agreed to, their execution of the plan probably falls somewhere short of that, although there are some that excel as there are some who fail abominably. In the words of the Bard: That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she brought me up, I likewise give her most humble thanks. (Much Ado About Nothing)   Now, what we do about life after that, well, that’s up to us.  🙂