Emotional Judgment

Emotions SmileysIt is a common tactic of an abuser to judge our feelings. Some feelings, those that promote the interests of the abuser, are considered good. The others are bad. This is because there are emotions which empower us, that indicate when a boundary has been violated and spur to into action to prevent any further damage and to reassert the boundary.…Details

Failing Upwards

babylearningwalkThe fear of failure can freeze us in our tracks. It can keep us from even contemplating doing something or even checking out what something is. Somewhere along the line we learn to be repulsed by anything remotely resembling failure.  If we can’t do it right the first time we don’t want to do it at all.…Details

Body Remembering

SomaticsThe body stores memories of events for us. Not just of injuries, impacts, tears, strains, and breaks, but of everything that happens to us. When we’re unable to process it, to be with it in the moment, it goes deep into the body, held in storage until we’re ready to work through it.…Details

How Abuse Effects Feelings

From The Courage To Heal by Ellen Bass & Laura Davis   The Courage to HealWhen children are raised in a healthy environment, their emotions are respected. When they are sad, angry, or afraid, their parents or caretakers acknowledge their feelings, make room for safe expression, and offer comfort.…Details

Meal or Condiment?

So when people are talking about self-care, it’s important to take in what they actually mean by that.  Not in what they are doing or how they are doing it. That’s as varied as the individual involved.  One size does not fit all, there’s no miracle activity that will make everyone universally happy, and “being good to yourself” is a fairly broad generalization that remains an empty platitude if not clarified with some added specifics.…Details

Fact Checking

Funland_Hall_of_MirrorsIt’s not just for politicians.  When people are unaware of or unwilling to admit the truth of their motivations, they sometimes give answers to questions which seem plausible until looked at closely. Often we don’t even bother, we take them at their word until something causes us to pause and think twice.…Details