Beware the Tar Baby
Most of the time what is necessary to get things done is to roll up your sleeves, dig in and start doing. It may not be fun or even pleasant, but the sooner it’s started the sooner it’s done and you can get on to other things.…Details
Emotional Judgment
It is a common tactic of an abuser to judge our feelings. Some feelings, those that promote the interests of the abuser, are considered good. The others are bad. This is because there are emotions which empower us, that indicate when a boundary has been violated and spur to into action to prevent any further damage and to reassert the boundary.…Details
What If It’s Not A Duck?
You know the saying, “If it looks like a duck and acts like a duck and sounds like a duck then it’s probably..” There’s a lot of truth to that which people ignore on a really regular basis especially in relationships. …Details
“Oh, Honey, Just Forgive and Forget”
From The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis
It is never helpful to tell a survivor of child sexual abuse that she needs to forgive the person who abused her. This advice minimized and denies the validity of her feelings.…Details
Failing Upwards
The fear of failure can freeze us in our tracks. It can keep us from even contemplating doing something or even checking out what something is. Somewhere along the line we learn to be repulsed by anything remotely resembling failure. If we can’t do it right the first time we don’t want to do it at all.…Details
Body Remembering
The body stores memories of events for us. Not just of injuries, impacts, tears, strains, and breaks, but of everything that happens to us. When we’re unable to process it, to be with it in the moment, it goes deep into the body, held in storage until we’re ready to work through it.…Details
How Abuse Effects Feelings
From The Courage To Heal by Ellen Bass & Laura DavisWhen children are raised in a healthy environment, their emotions are respected. When they are sad, angry, or afraid, their parents or caretakers acknowledge their feelings, make room for safe expression, and offer comfort.…Details