Avoidance Engine

EngineThere are as many ways to avoid what we do not want to do as there are people.  The examples that come to mind the quickest are the enjoyable time wasters like social media, online games, TV and movies, or various hobbies we drop into so we can tune out.…Details

The Future Present

Written language allows us to freeze Coral Reefmoments in time.  It creates history as a dead thing, static facts accreting like coral, the bones of the dead building structure for the living. Written language, recorded history changes our experience of the past, altering our perception of the now, and warping our relationship with the future.…Details

Boundaries Vs. Ego

Stone MosaicsIn the spiritual community it is not uncommon for someone to be called out for “being in their ego.” This phrase has its origins in psychotherapy all the way back to Freud and the various parts of the mind. It was necessary, neutral, and like many things in life, only caused negative ramifications when it was out of balance with the other parts and in particular if it wasn’t being monitored or receiving any checks and balances internally or externally. …Details

The Forgiveness Trap

Toxic ParentsThis is from Dr. Susan Forward’s book Toxic Parents but if you substitute “person” for parent it’s easy to see that this applies to most cases of hurt and harm no matter what the situation or relationship. “One of the most dangerous things about forgiveness is that it undercuts your ability to let go of your pent-up emotions.…Details

Connection

cocktail_glass-wideI was reading something today that suddenly brought things into focus: “Fire qi is the full expression of Wood’s vision. Fire brings forth the rose, lays the paint on the canvas, and gives voice to the song that’s been forming in the depths of your heart.…Details

We Teach Our Own Lessons

There is a difference between experiencing a sequence of events around excessive heat (someone turns the oven on and leaves it over night, the thermostat goes all out rather than turning things off, the car overheats suddenly and you’re stuck by the side of the road, someone puts Habaneros in the salad by mistake) and constantly putting your fingers on the hot burner you are cooking with. …Details

Manipulation & Responsibility

ManipulationManipulative people are those who try to get other people to do what they want, sometimes without the person knowing they are being manipulated, but not always. This can be because they don’t want to do the thing themselves, they don’t want to be responsible for the consequences, they don’t want to expend the necessary funds/favors/friendships/connections/reputation required, they need to maintain a certain self conception as the victim/injured/incapable person in the scenario, they want to cause drama/trauma, or they want to cause harm.…Details