Wisdom

“Oh, Honey, Just Forgive and Forget”

From The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis It is never helpful to tell a survivor of child sexual abuse that she needs to forgive the person who abused her. This advice minimized and denies the validity of her feelings.… Details

Failing Upwards

The fear of failure can freeze us in our tracks. It can keep us from even contemplating doing something or even checking out what something is. Somewhere along the line we learn to be repulsed by anything remotely resembling failure.  If we can’t do it right the first time we don’t want to do it at all.… Details

Body Remembering

The body stores memories of events for us. Not just of injuries, impacts, tears, strains, and breaks, but of everything that happens to us. When we’re unable to process it, to be with it in the moment, it goes deep into the body, held in storage until we’re ready to work through it.… Details

How Abuse Effects Feelings

From The Courage To Heal by Ellen Bass & Laura Davis   When children are raised in a healthy environment, their emotions are respected. When they are sad, angry, or afraid, their parents or caretakers acknowledge their feelings, make room for safe expression, and offer comfort.… Details

Meal or Condiment?

So when people are talking about self-care, it’s important to take in what they actually mean by that.  Not in what they are doing or how they are doing it. That’s as varied as the individual involved.  One size does not fit all, there’s no miracle activity that will make everyone universally happy, and “being good to yourself” is a fairly broad generalization that remains an empty platitude if not clarified with some added specifics.… Details

Fact Checking

It’s not just for politicians.  When people are unaware of or unwilling to admit the truth of their motivations, they sometimes give answers to questions which seem plausible until looked at closely. Often we don’t even bother, we take them at their word until something causes us to pause and think twice.… Details

I Don’t Want Anyone To Hurt

No one likes being the bad guy. The bearer of bad tidings is never going to win a popularity contest and people shoot the messenger. However, just like with everything else in life, relationships have a rhythm, a physics, which can’t be ignored. … Details

Incremental Progress

There are silver linings in things that catch you at the oddest moments. Being a goal driven person who tends to forget that her body has limitations, I have throughout my life made decisions to climb that hill, walk that trail, take those stairs and set of with every intention of just plowing through like a machine. … Details

Have To/Need To/Get To

Something I figured out a while ago is the categories I put things into in my head when I’m thinking about everything that could/should/would happen in that day.  Being a Capricorn I’m a list maker and so either the night before or in the morning of I’m making to-do list of everything to accomplish that day. … Details