Somewhere along the way our notion of balance becomes about stillness.  That balance is about perfect measures bringing everything to a point where nothing moves. It’s the essence of perfection, to be perfectly balanced in a stillness that proves everything is exactly equal, measured, compared, in exacting relationship to each other.… Details

There’s Truth and then There’s Fact

Dune Truth SayerIt can be very confusing when people’s actions say one thing and their words say another. They say that they want to work things out, but they take no steps to work through anything. They say they are putting everything they have into the relationship, but each day there is less and less relationship there and it seems like only one person is making any effort.… Details

Ending the Cycle

PoppiesThere comes a point where the stories are worn thin, then justifications are no longer talismans, and the words are ashes in your mouth. There comes a point where there is nothing left but you. What happened when you were a child happened. … Details

Hang On

Comfy JeansSometimes the best we can do is just hang on. Instead of a beautiful even braid of intention and action, healing and boundaries what you get is a tangled ball of old behaviors and new, old boundaries and new which are so inextricably knotted it can seem impossible to separate them.… Details

Behaving is Believing

Funland_Hall_of_MirrorsIt is one of the hardest truths: “When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.” – Maya Angelou  It’s not hard to understand, but it can be so very hard to actually follow through with. We can end up in negative situations for years and even decades because we ignore the obvious, justify the egregious, and keep holding out hope for the possible.… Details

Ways to Transform

Dominical Red Mountain BoaWhen people think about transformations they think of caterpillars or butterflies.  That’s the romantic ideal that people really like.  That they live one life and then become something all together different, better, free, etc.  There’s so much symbolism in it and yet it also betrays our assumptions. … Details

Mother’s Who Can’t Love

Not everyone has a mother that is loving, supporting, or even caring. Some have mothers that are absent, dysfunctional or abusive.  This makes Mother’s Day a very difficult time because they are being asked to honor and celebrate someone who is a negative in their lives at a very deep level. … Details

The NonNegotiables

Verbally AbusiveIt’s funny how people will work so hard to achieve something, actually do it, and only then realize that it’s completely wrong for them. Not because they chose wrong, but because they absolutely ignored, misunderstood, or misrepresented things which were absolutely necessary for the success of the project. … Details