An introduction to Spiritual Bypassing by Robert Masters “Spiritual bypassing, a term first coined by psychologist John Welwood in 1984, is the use of spiritual practices and beliefs to avoid dealing with our painful feelings, unresolved wounds, and developmental needs. It is much more common than we might think and, in fact, is so pervasive…
I know the weather is wonky for everyone. It’s too dry, it’s too wet, we’re all living in the story of Goldilocks and the 3 Bears except we haven’t found anything that’s “just right” yet. *sigh* However, the world keeps spinning regardless of our desires and just today, just as it was officially Spring for…
“Oh, Hell. I’m a fan of all seven.” – Malcolm Reynolds Serenity What if the sins enumerated in the Bible weren’t universal, but instead were formulated to describe a masculine perspective? If so then they would describe the negative aspects of men, not necessarily of women. I’ve found this concept fascinating for decades because it…
Most of the time what is necessary to get things done is to roll up your sleeves, dig in and start doing. It may not be fun or even pleasant, but the sooner it’s started the sooner it’s done and you can get on to other things. In these cases the balancing act is to…
It is a common tactic of an abuser to judge our feelings. Some feelings, those that promote the interests of the abuser, are considered good. The others are bad. This is because there are emotions which empower us, that indicate when a boundary has been violated and spur to into action to prevent any further…
You know the saying, “If it looks like a duck and acts like a duck and sounds like a duck then it’s probably..” There’s a lot of truth to that which people ignore on a really regular basis especially in relationships. I can’t even count how many people over the past 30 years have talked…
From The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis It is never helpful to tell a survivor of child sexual abuse that she needs to forgive the person who abused her. This advice minimized and denies the validity of her feelings. Yet the issue of forgiveness is one that is pressed on survivors…
The fear of failure can freeze us in our tracks. It can keep us from even contemplating doing something or even checking out what something is. Somewhere along the line we learn to be repulsed by anything remotely resembling failure. If we can’t do it right the first time we don’t want to do it…