Emotional Weaponry

“Do what I say or I will have feels!” We’ve all been in this conversation before.  Either it’s the emotional blackmail of being told not to do something because if you do it will hurt them and the crushing nature of that sadness/despair/agony will destroy everything! …Details

Emotional Earplugs

You know that phrase “You hear what you expect to hear?” It goes along with the seeing what you want to see but it’s a little different.  In one aspect it’s really helpful.  Language has patterns.  Both in how it’s formed and how it expresses things, ie.…Details

Cleansing

People ask me if Native American’s have a tradition of doing cleanses.  The simple answer: Nope.  The complete answer: native people’s didn’t have a notion of 3 square meals a day plus snacks. Food was what you cultivated, harvested, or hunted and then prepared. …Details

Bad or Real?

No one wants to feel bad.  Not only is it not fun, but our bodies are hard wired to avoid it because feeling bad causes us to be vulnerable which means the huge saber tooth tiger will sneak up on us and we won’t be able to heft that spear to defend ourselves….really, that’s what our lizard brain is telling us a lot of the time. …Details

The Fun House Mirrors

People tend to have this impression that once they are healed or adult or get their shit together or magically make it out of whatever situation they are working through, the fog will clear, they will magically perceive everything “normally” and they’ll no longer have any connection to where they came from or what they’ve been through. …Details

When the Devil’s Not In the Details

Sometimes people come to me with specific questions or issues.  They want to know about why a one time event happened, about this physical ailment they’re experiencing, or about this one relationship and what it means.  Often it’s very specific and while they are giving me the details of what occurred, what they think it means, what they think is involved, and why they think it happened in the first place, I’m preparing to dig into what the bigger picture might be. …Details

The Letter Vs. The Spirit

Most of us have heard of that old argument between the letter of the law and the spirit of the law.  I mean it starts way back in school when you hear someone yell “Yeah, but that’s not what she meant!!!”  Ah, the teachable moments when kids figure out how to manipulate the system. …Details

Triage Vs. Life

Personal time or “The life we’re doing all this for” has become a catchall term for whatever we’re doing that isn’t work or sleeping. It includes all the household chores and maintenance, errands (household chores that need to be done outside the home), exercise for the purpose of maintaining health and body weight, connecting with friends to maintain relationship, connecting with family to maintain relationship, fulfilling obligations, providing for the needs of those who depend on us (children/elder care/codependents), self-care, working on projects that will advance our life in some way (education/new business/making art), and doing things which we enjoy simply for the pleasure of doing them. …Details