Wisdom

Ask for Forgiveness, Not Permission

One of the greatest gifts I’ve ever received from a lover was this: You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.  As a woman I had never considered this as an option let alone a fact.  That was something that was a part of men and men’s lives. …Details

Dysfunctional Family Rules

Ever notice that when you go back home for a visit you fall into old patterns?  Seen your sweetheart become a teenager again as soon as they hit the door to their parent’s place?  The longer we live our own lives, healing dysfunctional patterns and creating balance and wholeness the more jarring it is to come back into contact with the old patterns. …Details

Anything Other Than That

It’s like trying to feed a kid their medicine.  It’s the one thing that will make them feel better, it’s even flavored for gawd sake, but its the last thing they want and you have to wrestle them down and hold them like a cat trying to get this stuff far enough down ’em that they can’t spit it out. …Details

Dumping

There are lots of ways to dump something on someone else.  “Here’s the laundry *whump* now fold it.”  “Honey, I just said ‘yes’ to so-and-so’s party.  We need to bring something, but I know you can figure that out.”  “I just agreed that our team can take on this goal and make it in half the time that they projected. …Details

Guilted Into Gratitude

For US residents we are quickly coming up on the Thanksgiving holiday where we are meant to take a time out and appreciate all we are thankful for.  Like all practices this can be a fantastic thing or it can be horrific, depending on how it’s implemented. …Details

Do Unto You

This season there will be lots of visiting and being visited and tons of people doing for and doing about and scurrying to make sure that everyone has what they need and things are taken care of.  The weird part is, in all this to doing the people to doing it will generally not include themselves in the equation. …Details

It’s Not Me It’s You

We’re responsible for our actions.  What we don’t often recognize is our reactions. Something happens and we don’t even know that it jerked off our path because the reaction is habitual and as persistent as air or gravity.  It’s just the way it is as far as we’re concerned.…Details

All The Distractions

To everything there is a season, right?  I have students and clients that come to me wanting to know why they aren’t making progress or why nothing is working.  They can tell me all the things which they are doing in their lives to make things better but things either don’t change or can even get worse. …Details

I Can’t Or I Won’t

It’s a really common human thing to hold ourselves back.  Our brains will rationalize it and make it seem logical and real, but in the end it’s all about fear.  On the one hand that’s a good thing.  We should keep ourselves out of danger and doing what is healthy and good for us, but being highly developed social beings that are rarely being attacked by wild animals or swallowed whole in a Sarlacc pit our fears range the gamut from real to imagined to “wow!…Details

Crisis Management

Being good in a crisis is a great life skill.  Thinking clearly, doing what needs to get done, being flexible in the moment and getting things back on course can mean the difference between life and death or survival vs. utter destruction. …Details