Relationship Negotiation

Any relationship is full of negotiation. People point to compromise as a major component and there is that too, but if that’s all there was then relationships wouldn’t be positive or nurturing or even healthy.  They would be political and a means to control negative behaviors and consequences. …Details

Unspoken

Sins of omission. What gets left unsaid is just as telling as what is said. When we think of things left unsaid it’s either in a sad way, usually after someone has died or at the ending of a relationship we wish had gone a different way, or after an argument when all the witty and cutting things we should have said come to our mind. …Details

Bidding Frenzy

Disappointment is a thing.  It happens.  It’s normal and part of living.  We wanted an event or a thing to meet our expectations.  We needed the party to be fun, we need our new car to actually work, we were expecting that new gadget we bought to work with all our other gadgets, we really wanted the new Fantastic Four to be good….you get the idea. …Details

Frivolous Practicality

As adults one of the things, hopefully, that we’ve learned rather quickly is that we need to get all the “need to” things done before we do the “want to’s.”  I’m not talking about the “should’s” I’m pointing out that the needs really need to get met like having water on hand (if nothing else than to flush the toilet periodically), have a means to make light when it’s dark and heat when it’s cold, etc.…Details

Emotional Weaponry

“Do what I say or I will have feels!” We’ve all been in this conversation before.  Either it’s the emotional blackmail of being told not to do something because if you do it will hurt them and the crushing nature of that sadness/despair/agony will destroy everything! …Details

Emotional Earplugs

You know that phrase “You hear what you expect to hear?” It goes along with the seeing what you want to see but it’s a little different.  In one aspect it’s really helpful.  Language has patterns.  Both in how it’s formed and how it expresses things, ie.…Details

Cleansing

People ask me if Native American’s have a tradition of doing cleanses.  The simple answer: Nope.  The complete answer: native people’s didn’t have a notion of 3 square meals a day plus snacks. Food was what you cultivated, harvested, or hunted and then prepared. …Details

Bad or Real?

No one wants to feel bad.  Not only is it not fun, but our bodies are hard wired to avoid it because feeling bad causes us to be vulnerable which means the huge saber tooth tiger will sneak up on us and we won’t be able to heft that spear to defend ourselves….really, that’s what our lizard brain is telling us a lot of the time. …Details

The Fun House Mirrors

People tend to have this impression that once they are healed or adult or get their shit together or magically make it out of whatever situation they are working through, the fog will clear, they will magically perceive everything “normally” and they’ll no longer have any connection to where they came from or what they’ve been through. …Details