Ending the Cycle

There comes a point where the stories are worn thin, then justifications are no longer talismans, and the words are ashes in your mouth. There comes a point where there is nothing left but you. What happened when you were a child happened.  Whether it’s been validated or not, it’s your truth now that no…

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Hang On

Sometimes the best we can do is just hang on. Instead of a beautiful even braid of intention and action, healing and boundaries what you get is a tangled ball of old behaviors and new, old boundaries and new which are so inextricably knotted it can seem impossible to separate them. What seemed clear before…

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Behaving is Believing

It is one of the hardest truths: “When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.” – Maya Angelou  It’s not hard to understand, but it can be so very hard to actually follow through with. We can end up in negative situations for years and even decades because we ignore the…

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Ways to Transform

When people think about transformations they think of caterpillars or butterflies.  That’s the romantic ideal that people really like.  That they live one life and then become something all together different, better, free, etc.  There’s so much symbolism in it and yet it also betrays our assumptions.  I mean, caterpillars are fabulous all on their…

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Mother’s Who Can’t Love

Not everyone has a mother that is loving, supporting, or even caring. Some have mothers that are absent, dysfunctional or abusive.  This makes Mother’s Day a very difficult time because they are being asked to honor and celebrate someone who is a negative in their lives at a very deep level.  For everyone who struggles…

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The NonNegotiables

It’s funny how people will work so hard to achieve something, actually do it, and only then realize that it’s completely wrong for them. Not because they chose wrong, but because they absolutely ignored, misunderstood, or misrepresented things which were absolutely necessary for the success of the project.  This is a common occurence when people…

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You’re Only Culpable to a Point

There are lots of messages out there about how we create our reality and how that means if someone is hurting us or has caused us wrong, we must have called it in. We must be responsible and need to figure out what we did wrong, where we are struggling/broken/mistaken and resolve the issue.  I’m…

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