Emotional Illiteracy

Many people have learned, due to difficult childhoods, dysfunctional families, highly competitive work environments or traumatic events that emotions are a vulnerability.  They are a weakness, a deadend that takes away time and energy from more productive pursuits, uncontrollable, never appropriate, and something to be rigidly controlled or avoided. …Details

Models for Transformation

When people think about transformations they think of caterpillars or butterflies.  That’s the romantic ideal that people really like.  That they live one life and then become something all together different, better, free, etc.  There’s so much symbolism in it and yet it also betrays our assumptions. …Details

World Peace or PBJ?

“Tell me what I need to live my best life?”  -Um…world peace or whirled peas….and a pbj sandwich.  Seriously.  Could the question be broader and therefore more useless?  It’s not that we shouldn’t be asking.  It’s not that we shouldn’t be seeking. …Details

The Magic of Priority

It’s amazing how much our priorities mandate how our days will play out.  Not just in what we do, but in how we do them, and how they create or detract from our quality of life.  Making ourselves the last in priority ranking guarantees that things will go against us.…Details

It’s Not Enough To Say It

Relationships can be confusing.  So much is being said in so many ways: between the lines, meta message, spoken/unspoken/inferred, and physically. Plus we’re letting someone into our sacrosanct space where we are vulnerable which makes everything mean more, carry more weight, be freighted with meaning. …Details

Relationship Negotiation

Any relationship is full of negotiation. People point to compromise as a major component and there is that too, but if that’s all there was then relationships wouldn’t be positive or nurturing or even healthy.  They would be political and a means to control negative behaviors and consequences. …Details


Sins of omission. What gets left unsaid is just as telling as what is said. When we think of things left unsaid it’s either in a sad way, usually after someone has died or at the ending of a relationship we wish had gone a different way, or after an argument when all the witty and cutting things we should have said come to our mind. …Details

Bidding Frenzy

Disappointment is a thing.  It happens.  It’s normal and part of living.  We wanted an event or a thing to meet our expectations.  We needed the party to be fun, we need our new car to actually work, we were expecting that new gadget we bought to work with all our other gadgets, we really wanted the new Fantastic Four to be good….you…Details