Beware the Tar Baby

Most of the time what is necessary to get things done is to roll up your sleeves, dig in and start doing. It may not be fun or even pleasant, but the sooner it’s started the sooner it’s done and you can get on to other things. In these cases the balancing act is to…

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Emotional Judgment

It is a common tactic of an abuser to judge our feelings. Some feelings, those that promote the interests of the abuser, are considered good. The others are bad. This is because there are emotions which empower us, that indicate when a boundary has been violated and spur to into action to prevent any further…

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What If It’s Not A Duck?

You know the saying, “If it looks like a duck and acts like a duck and sounds like a duck then it’s probably..”  There’s a lot of truth to that which people ignore on a really regular basis especially in relationships.  I can’t even count how many people over the past 30 years have talked…

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Failing Upwards

The fear of failure can freeze us in our tracks. It can keep us from even contemplating doing something or even checking out what something is. Somewhere along the line we learn to be repulsed by anything remotely resembling failure.  If we can’t do it right the first time we don’t want to do it…

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Body Remembering

The body stores memories of events for us. Not just of injuries, impacts, tears, strains, and breaks, but of everything that happens to us. When we’re unable to process it, to be with it in the moment, it goes deep into the body, held in storage until we’re ready to work through it. This should…

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How Abuse Effects Feelings

From The Courage To Heal by Ellen Bass & Laura Davis   When children are raised in a healthy environment, their emotions are respected. When they are sad, angry, or afraid, their parents or caretakers acknowledge their feelings, make room for safe expression, and offer comfort. Children raised in an emotionally supportive home are not…

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Meal or Condiment?

So when people are talking about self-care, it’s important to take in what they actually mean by that.  Not in what they are doing or how they are doing it. That’s as varied as the individual involved.  One size does not fit all, there’s no miracle activity that will make everyone universally happy, and “being…

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